Sunday, May 23, 2010
…You find typos in newspapers, books, magazine articles, bus stop advertisements, hell anywhere at all, and they send you into cataclysmic, apoplectic and phonetic swoons.
…You look around nervously because you can’t resist sticking your nose into a book because you like the smell of new ink and musty old tomes.
…When people are telling you tales of woe, confiding in you about what a hell their life is, and you’re not really listening; you’re trying to figure out a way to use it in a story without any litigious ramifications.
…You have a pen collection the size of the national debt, and you never use them.
…Libraries and book stores turn you into a drooling zombie-like creature oblivious to man or beast, and only a slap upside the head will awaken you from this trance.
…You flip through empty notebooks in stationary stores for no good reason.
…Everything’s a story.
…Thoughts fly! Ideas sear your brain! You search madly for a pen and a scrap of paper to jot this masterpiece down! (You can only find a bus transfer, but use it anyway)
…You stare at your page, write a sentence, scrutinize it, and then go for some ice cream.
…Your idea of fun is spending a sunny afternoon with your nose in a copy of Catch 22, under an Elm, or buried in your dimly lit room with the 40 watt bulb giggling to yourself.
…You find yourself sneering at friends who’ve never heard of Proust or Moliere.
…Your friends say things like “Cumulous Nimbi? You mean clouds, right?”
…You correct not only your friend’s grammar, but the guy on CNN who just mispronounced Uzbekistan and Eyjafjallajökull.
…You can’t help but take those interesting looking pens lying around on people’s desks at work.
…Your idea of light reading is a Webster’s Dictionary, and sometimes the phone book.
…When oddly enough, no one without a College degree in ancient English knows what the hell you’re talking about.
…You gotta buy that old No. 2 Underwood which has no ribbon, no hope of ever working, but would look great in your study.
…You love the smell of fresh newspaper ink in the morning.
Do you have any crazy writer habits and peccadilloes you'd like to share? Leave a comment, and I'll get back to you!
Related Madness: @ZiggyKinsella ~ The 9 unsavory character traits of real authors - match them to yours http://fecklessgoblin.blogspot.com/